✿†Grab your gun, time to go to hell†❀


Penelope Spall. Nearly 20 (probably 20 by the time anyone reads this) click on the links underneath to learn about me.
I'm a book lover that would rather live in a fairytale than reality. I like looking up to the sky, my favourite book is norweigan woods and I will never understand why people are so opinionated.
I wish my life could be one big festival that never ends.

I want to be a bird.

million gun grabbers
melifeprivatediary
ask, theme

Day Twenty five, 26th September 2011,
Something isn’t quite right. With everything, it’s like something has broken but I can’t quite see it yet.

26/9/11, 1 notes

Day Twenty four, 25th September 2011 
I think you broke my heart, I just didn’t understand what that pain was at the time.

25/9/11, 1 notes

Day twenty-one, 22nd September 2011
I went to a school where everyone was the same. I didn’t quite fit in, and that’s why I became the victim.
It’s not even that I was different, I just didn’t try to be like everyone else. I felt ever so lonely for a long period of my life, because of that, I don’t really like people.

22/9/11, 0 notes

Day nineteen, 20th September 2011
Why do we consider life to be so ‘shit’? I wonder what it is that we want, as we seem to expect something else, something more. We are living on this planet which is so tiny yet it seems so big to us. we are alive, and the world is ours, but, that doesn’t matter we don’t even think to appreciate this as we didn’t exactly ask for it anyway. Although, I just want to be happy, that’s all I ask for in my short life..
So why is that so hard to achieve?

20/9/11, 0 notes

Day eighteen, 19th September 2011
We all have this desperate desire to find ourselves, to know who we are. I wonder why? How is it we don’t know who we are, are we even anything? Would finding who we are change our lives? Does not knowing this make us lost? Because we all feel lost in our own bubble like we don’t quite fit in, but yet, everyone seems to feel this way. It confuses me.
What if I did suddenly know who I am? Just wake up, or at the most random precise moment in my life think, ah, this is me. Would I then be happier? Would I feel more complete? What would I do next, Just act as normal….who knows.
I think finding yourself could be the best or worst moment of your life, how bittersweet that is.

19/9/11, 4 notes

Day Seventeen, 18th September 2011, Sometimes the average days are the best ones, when you don’t have too much time to think so you over think things. Although you have moments to yourself so you can feel at peace, just a day without worries and to feel alive for a short amount of time.

18/9/11, 0 notes

day sixteen, 17th september 2011

i really will be alone forever. sometimes i’m glad, and other times it hurts.

17/9/11, 0 notes

day fifteen, 16th september 2011

sometimes, i wish i could film my whole life, because there’s so many moments in life that we forget. like, right now i’m sitting here in my media lesson and i won’t remember this. all these tiny pointless memories i create will fade away in my memory to nothing. although, if i had filmed every moment of my life i’d never be able to watch it all, it’s impossible to remember your whole life, and that, makes me kind of sad.

16/9/11, 0 notes

 day fourteen, 15th september 2011

it’s so scary to care about someone more than they care about themselves. some days i think, what if they can’t handle today? what if i suddenly lost them? how would i live with that i wonder. you can’t cage people, they must be free, but when freedom is to empty and lonely for someone how can you help them?

sometimes you feel the need to hide people from the world.

14/9/11, 0 notes

Day thirteen, 14th September 2011
My life story is being written. Chapter after chapter people come, and people go…
I wonder who will stay till the end?

14/9/11, 0 notes

Day twelve, 13th September 2011
I have a secret, I don’t have all these deep dark secrets and many stories to tell, or some amazing personality that people idolise, and I don’t have a face of beauty or an amazing figure either.
I’m pretty normal, which may seem boring to some, but when everyone claims to be ‘different’ and alone in this world and having no one understand them…
Personally, admitting I’m normal makes me feel unique in my own way.

13/9/11, 0 notes

Day eleven, 12th september 2011
You can’t hate someone for their feelings. It’s so easy to, if someone who once loved you stops loving you it’s easier to hate them, but it’s not their fault. People can’t help the way they feel, if we wanted to, we would love one person, and only that person till the day we die.
But hence we cannot, the heart changes and you slowly grow into someone else, Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. Humans hate too easily.

11/9/11, 1 notes

Day ten, 11th September 2011
When does the emptiness end?

11/9/11, 1 notes

Day nine, 10th September 2011
First impressions can mean a lot, you can love or hate someone so easily from just one glance.
Yet, they are also worthless because opinions and feelings can change for someone just as easily.
Even if you really don’t want them to.

11/9/11, 8 notes

Day eight, 9th September 2011
We let go of the things that matter and hold onto the things that destroy us.
Why? Because people are like that, we want to believe we can change things for the better and to keep our lives much more interesting than they actually are.

9/9/11, 0 notes
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